Archive for the Completely Asinine Category

Fighting With Flavia…

Posted in Completely Asinine with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2010 by thefrogge

Dearest friends… Frogge here! And boy, have I had an eventful morning. I just wanted to share with all of you that I have officially found the biggest idiot in the pond. I happened to be doing a little innocent hopping around on Facebook this morning, when I got a notification that Steve Lewis “liked” my “activity.” I then clicked on his page and saw an old status update of his which read:

Steve Lewis: fabulous female friend transplanting to nashville for 3 months.. advice? friendship?”

Oh, Steve… You are such a helpful man. It’s the Aquarius in you, isn’t it? Anyway, being that I have never been to Nashville myself, I wanted to see what “useful advice” people were suggesting in case I decide to make the trek down south myself.

About 7 comments down, a women by the name of “Flavia” decided to chirp in, and this is what she had to say.

Flavia: I love Nashville my Aunt JJ Clark lives there. It’s very beautiful, lots of celebs live there like Nicole Kidman, Al Gore, people are super polite and courteous. Mafioso has good pizza, and there are really great bars downtown with live music, and they have a great TJ Maxx over there with lots of reasonably priced items. And take pics of the Batman Building.”

Directly under Flavia’s post, Caroline chirped in…

Caroline: Nicole Kidman, Adrian Belew, Emmylou Harris, Cheetah Chrome (yes from the Dead boys), the late Stuart Adamson (Big Country), Duane Eddy, and I think Dylan still keeps a house here.”

Now, to be totally honest, The Frogge normally does not get involved with idiotic people on Facebook… I usually NEVER contribute to Facebook fighting, or snarkiness, because really, it’s just a waste of time and I have more important things to do… like write The Frogge! But something about those two posts really pushed my buttons… And to be honest, I just happened to be in the mood for a nice, healthy quarrel… You know, something to get the blood pumping! So I responded…

THE FROGGE: @ Flavia & Caroline… My apologies for having to call you out… but really… A girl, or should I say a “Fab Female Friend” is moving to Nashville for 3 months… And you find it necessary to spout off a list of Celebs that live in Nash because??? Why??? I really don’t think that is going to help the FFF… Unless of course she plans to knock on Al Gore’s door and have a nice discussion on global warming with him. Or maybe, if Dylan does “still keep a house there” she can knock on his door instead and have a song & harmonica session with him b/c I’m sure he’d be down. UGH. Once again, you two have reminded me how barren & Celeb-Centric our culture can be… And I feel sorry for the FFF that this is the “useful” advice she is being given. At that rate, my advice to the FFF is to visit Barnes & Noble & buy a city guide. Not For Tourists is pretty awesome… I have the NYC edition… Perhaps they make a Nashville edition?

After that it was on like Donkey Kong. Here is the rest of the conversation for your viewing pleasures.

Flavia: As I recall, I also mentioned shopping and a pizza joint, and when I say that celebs live there I was mostly talking about viewing their residences since Nashville has some of the most beautiful houses in the US. The mention of celebs is just some Pop Culture Trivia. And I personally being a huge Andy Warhol fan, love to look at the aesthetics of Pop Culture. However I don’t spend my evenings watching TMZ, I actually read books, and roam my beautiful city of New York and studying the REAL PEOPLE, the creatures of the night. Stop judging people that you don’t know and lighten up sister.

THE FROGGE: Wow, Flavia, I guess you really put me in my place then. Congratulations, you like Andy Warhol just like everybody else in NYC who thinks they are cool. Did anyone ever tell you that you are so original? Oh, next time I go to Nashville, I’ll be sure to check out TJ Maxx… Because that is the definition is great shopping! It’s so unique… I mean, really, what great advice for the FFF… She should definitely visit TJM in Nashville, because the fact that there are at least 2 TJM’s in NYC isn’t enough… When I travel, I make sure to go to TJM too! Because instead of actually visiting a store that is unique to its city… I love to buy mass-produced garbage from China at unbeatable prices! Keep “studying” the creatures of the night… Maybe you can learn something from them!

Flavia: First and foremost, I am 40 years old and have been a Andy Warhol aficionado before you were probably born. I also help commission original prints to collectors. I am not here to argue with you about TJ Maxx or celebrities on Steve Lewis’ thread. I am here just to converse and exchange normal ideas with adult people who obviously are not angry at the world. I don’t have time for banter back and forth with a girl wearing a BEAR COSTUME. And maybe you should learn something from the creatures of the night and DISAPPEAR. BTW, sorry Steve.”

** I now have to interrupt this conversation to show you a picture of the bear costume… Because after reading that, how can you not be dying to see it?? I know you are dying to see it!! So here it is… **

To Ribbit or To Rarrr? That is the question! THE FROGGE disguised as a bear!

I know… I know… It’s awesome… Okay back to the conversation… So I answered…

THE FROGGE: You don’t have to apologize to Mr. Lewis. He likes the attention from us women-folk. Believe me. But once again, dear Flavia, you have put me in my place… And I thank you for that. However you do sound bitter about your age. Just because I am definitely a lot younger than you, doesn’t mean that I am less mature than you are. AND… don’t even go there about dissing the bear costume. I was volunteering at a children’s hospital and happen to have a sense of humor. Besides “helping to commission original prints to collectors” when was the last time that you donated your time to a cause that actually matters? You’re just embarrassed that you that got called out by a young-in and that is why you feel it necessary to accuse me of being angry at the world.”

(Okay, now, here is the truth. Cause I refuse to lie on my own website. I actually did not wear the bear suit at a children’s hospital. But I had to say it, because I really wanted to stick it to her good. Now, the reason why it was okay for me to lie at the time and say that, is because I truly am a registered volunteer with NY Cares and I am volunteering with them 3 days next week. So In some sense… it’s kind of true. Which leads me to the real reason I was wearing the bear suit, which also happens to be for a very good, but different cause. Last week, a bunch of my froggers, froggettes, and I attended a rock concert called Rock For A Cure. A ton of bands came out and played for free to help raise money for a woman with a brain tumor. Next door to the venue where Rock For A Cure was taking place, a random store was having their “going out of business/everything must go sale.” I saw the bear costume, it was love at first sight… I had to try it on… And it just so happened that it look sooo good on me (lol) that the woman who owned the store said I could borrow it and wear it for the night. So, I went back to Rock For A Cure, as a bear, made all my friends really happy, and gave the bear suit back at the end of the night.) One more picture… Then back to the conversation… This part is really good…

The Bear w/ Dave M, Nate J & Jacky O Nasty from THE PARTY DEATH, Leo Henry from PUi, & our beloved friend Axel @ ROCK FOR A CURE!

Flavia: Here we go. If I was bitter about my age, I wouldn’t have mentioned it. I am from Uruguayan/Argentine and we happen to age very well, so you prob have more wrinkles than me.And I’m sure you way fatter. I am 110 and a size 2. I was merely pointing out my experience in regards to art. As far as volunteering, yes I am a member of the ASPCA AdvocacyBrigade, PETA, Greenpeace and Sloan Kettering. I am happy that you do what you do for children. Good for you, but was that out of the goodness of your heart, or is it a condition of your parole violation? Ever heard the expression Make Love Not War. You should follow it. Especially the making love part. You will find all your anger issues with miraculously dissapear when you get some. It was great speaking with you, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature. But if you wish to go on, I anticipate your next syllable with “great eagerness”.

THE FROGGE: The fact that you just felt it necessary to list your weight and size… is PATHETIC. It makes me feel sorry for you. And although you are 110 & a size 2, I still wouldn’t date you. If it makes you feel better to think that I am fat… You can think that I am fat. And if it makes you feel better to think that I don’t get any, than you can think that too. It just shows how insecure you are with yourself, your own weight, and how much you are getting. You may be from Argentina, but in America we have a little expression that goes something like this, “Don’t argue with idiots. In the end, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with their experience.” That said, I’m out. I have more important things to write about. Have a lovely day, Flavia.”

So… Okay… I am completely aware that this is 100% asinine, a waste of time, pretty stupid, and overall useless… But I also feel that it is funny, a good way to kill time if you are bored at work and a pretty accurate social commentary on the world of Facebook and how our generation likes to waste their time these days. I also wanted to show you how smart and witty I can be when fighting with 110 pound, size 2, 40-year-old woman from Argentina… but most importantly… I wanted to show you my bear suit. I will also be writing about Rock For A Cure in the very near future… So that was a nice, brief introduction of what’s to come.

I hope you enjoyed reading my fight with Flavia and much as I enjoyed actually fighting with Flavia.

Love your friend,

The Frogge ❤

RIBBIT OF THE DAY: The ROTD is going to Steve Lewis as he finally commented on the thread between THE FROGGE V.S. Flavia…

His comment?

Steve Lewis: I love it when the bitches fight over me.”

Of course you do Mr. Lewis. Tell us something that we don’t already know.

My response?

I ain’t no bitch baby, I’m a Frogge.

Ciao bellissimos! Stayed tuned for my next post which will be about THE DIRTY PEARLS… Their show at Irving Plaza with Andrew WK, their trip to SXSW, and their guitarist Johnny B shitting out whole pigs.